There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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