I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You can't motorboat a personality
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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