there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
