all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
