I wannas sexs uuuuu
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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