i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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