I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
