..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
