nut hugger
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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