The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
