how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Randomize
