did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
