I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
