i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
