How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
