Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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