When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
