A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Someone signed my nipple.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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