Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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