Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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