Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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