Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
