Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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