If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
