It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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