We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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