He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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