I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
