There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
