So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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