kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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