Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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