I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
