i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
