just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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