dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
