Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
