She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
