He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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