Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
