She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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