i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
