my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I could make wine with my vomit
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
