i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
