woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
