Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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