Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
