these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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