I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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