he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
