no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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