So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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