What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
