four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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