i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
