The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
