STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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