What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
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