margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
