apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
