So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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