Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
